I have failed in almost everything that I have set out to do in life. The list seems endless, from getting an education, to spiritual, to business, to marriage, and so on… and sometimes I feel terrible.
It is no surprised that my family and friends have saliently placed a label on me as a “no-good”, though none has been bold enough to say to my face but I just get the message from how they relate and the things I have over heard them say, when they did not know I was listening. As I sit in front my computer now, putting these thoughts to text, I ask myself, where did I go wrong, where did I miss it in life?
Honestly, I know within myself that I have made efforts, as far as I know, read books, followed principles (even though sometimes I am not disciplined enough to keep up) and certain steps as prescribed by experts/mentors, but none has yielded the desired success, that will make me earn the respect of my family and friends. I need help.
I am homeless now, with no job, no education, in debt, with various threats here and there from those I am indebted and I ask myself, what can I do to get myself back on track. I am currently managing a football(soccer) prediction website, working on growing traffic, so I can at least have a source of revenue for myself and my extended family.
It can be very challenging in life when there is no form help coming from any source, but I have come to know that true comes from God (Psalms 121: 1–2). Here, in Africa, its worst when no one is reaching out to help, even the little one is trying build, can just disappear without any warning with crazy policies from those in power. One can understand, why most young Nigerians have decided to go into internet fraud (a.k.a, yahoo, internet scam) for survival, with the likes of Ramon Abbas (a.k.a., “Hushpuppi”) taking it to the global platform. Thought, it not an excuse to be fraudulent. It should stop.
I have come to learn that things do not just happen in life. My actions (taken or not taken actions), my decisions (good and bad), my relationships (at all levels) and the list go on of things that, I have consciously or unconsciously allowed, in my life till date has brought me to the present stage I find myself. Now, I am in need of help to get out of these situations. As one who believes the Lordship of Jesus Christ (Roman 10:9), and that He is son of the Highest God, that He died to redeem mankind from all situation and sin (Ephesians 1:7).
Seeking spiritual guidance and help, is something that one should be doing consistently. I fail most often in doing this, and things become tough as they are now. He is the lifter of my head (Psalms 3: 3), my provider (Jehovah Jireh) (Genesis 22:14), and so, it’s important that we always seek Him. Some situations only response to divine intervention, to powers and authority higher than what we know humanly. That is the power of the Almighty God. I am not ashamed to say I have failed and need help to be able to protect and provide for my family as I am supposed to do as a man.
There is the assurance that, we should seek first God and His righteousness (Matthew 6:33), then will we have all our needs met. As I face the present challenges, with no idea of how to come out them all, I am learning to seek God’s face, learning to do that which He is passionate about. The God of all creation is passionate about the salvation of mankind.
The main reason he sent His son (Jesus Christ), was to brings mankind back to Him, from where we have all fallen as a result of the sin (John 3:16). The enemy (Satan) comes to steal, kill and destroy (John 10:10).
Please, let’s accept the lordship of Jesus Christ now (John 14:6), today this very moment in our lives. Like I did some years back. The challenges we are experiencing now, (including myself) is because we have neglected His was, and we are going after the ways of the world.
May God continue to help each of us to be what He planned for us to be in life.
Thank you, Lord Jesus Christ, for this opportunity
Edwardukpong@gmail.com